Gifts n' Lists
by Kiara212
Summary: A collection of gifts and later on lists involving all the Twilight characters. Very random and hopefully hilarious, the collection that used to be called Ten Holiday Gifts For has been revamped! And of course, I don't own Twilight.
1. Edward

**On the tenth day of December Twilight gave to me, Edward holding an apple tree...**

Ten Holiday Gifts For... Edward

Mastermind – Edward _invented_ this game!

Condoms – Renesmee's the best thing that ever happened to you but all the stress could have been avoided with these

A stress ball – Sometimes Edward needs to calm down...

Hair gel – He wouldn't be Edward without his trade mark hair

The Score for the Twilight Movie – He could learn all the songs on Piano

Top Gear The Game – Because it's a combination of this favourite things, being the best, and cars

An iPod Classic 160 GB – To store all his music and more!

Tickets for Strictly Come Dancing – Edward can dance far better than these celebrities, but he might get a kick out of seeing them try

Newton's Outfitters Gift Card – For all of his 'camping' needs

An apple – Well, he _is_ the forbidden fruit


	2. Bella

**On the eleventh day of December Twilight gave to me, Bella tripping over air...**

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Bella

A first aid kit – She should always be prepared

Pepper spray – You never know who's out there...

A Victoria's Secret gift card – She might be shopping there a lot lately

A box of lucky charms – She needs it!

A Sharpie – So people can sign her casts

A TomTom – Bella will never get lost again

A pair of dice – For her new Ferrari

A baseball bat – Welcome to the team!

Thermals – For the next time she decides to go camping in the snow

Linkin Park Minute to Midnight – She liked them after trying to put off finding out Edward's secret! (Linkin Park was the CD she was listening to in Twilight if you didn't know)


	3. Jasper

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Jasper

**On the twelfth day of December Twilight gave to me, the original release of the Twilight Movie!**

**AN - ^ It rhymes! ^ I was planning on doing Nessie's but I could not ignore PeaceLoveCullen's plead. So Nessie will be tomorrow. Jasper today! And sorry for the mixup, you might know from the Twilight Excuses list that my computer keeps doing this! Again, sorry! Review and enjoy...**

1. A journal – To document his many feelings

2. A Complete Guide to the American Civil War – He can try and find himself in the pictures, like a historic Where's Wally?

3. iPod speakers – Jasper like's it loud

4. The Complete Psychological Work of Sigmund Freud – This should help him in college!

5. A baseball outfit – How hot (or cold – pun!) will he look in it?

6. A peg – So he doesn't have to smell those tempting humans

7. Chicken Soup for the Soul – For that little boost in the endless days and nights

8. A lie detector tester – Jasper can have great fun asking other people embarrassing questions (and he can make them 'lie' anyway!)

9. An 'I love shorties' tee-shirt – To show his Alice appreciation

10. A blackboard – For when he has to teach others how to fight off enemies


	4. Renesmee

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Renesmee

**On the thirteenth day of December Twilight gave to me, Renesmee the surprise of the century**

A dog – Jacob's for life, not just for Christmas...

John Frida Freeze Ease Serum – To keep those curls intact!

The Jane Austen Collection – Bella will make sure she reads these

A portfolio– To put in the pictures from Alice and Rosalie's daily fashion shows

A saddle – For when she's riding Jacob (I swear that's not in a dirty sense!)

A Little Bo Peep costume – Just imagine how cute she will look!

An MP3 case – To go with that MP3 player Edward bought her last Christmas

A Guide to Shapeshifters – Some light reading before bedtime

A dress up kit – Renesmee will have endless fun with this

A green swimming suit – That's not the Loch Ness Monster, that's Nessie!


	5. Billy

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Billy Black

**On the fourteenth day of December Twilight gave to me, Billy rolling down a hill, shouting 'WHEEEEE!'**

A skittles set for when he rolls down the big hill in La Push

An off roading wheelchair – To get to Jacob's garage

A wood log – So he can make lots of carvings!

Dyson Animal Hoover – Well he does have lots of wolves in his house...

A beer hat – For when he watches the big game with Charlie

A copy of the Godfather – For tips the next time he decides to warn someone 'we'll be watching'

Caller ID – So he knows when Bella's calling. Again. And again. And again...

A weekly food delivery – The werewolves keep eating all his food!

Webcam – To keep in contact with Rachel and Rebecca

A crown – He is quite majestic, and for funsies too


	6. Jacob

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Jacob

**On the fourteenth day of December Twilight gave to me, Jacob phasing into the trees**

Breath mints – For the next time he decides to randomly make out with Bella

A tin of paint – To colour his new dog bowl, courtesy of Rosalie

A can of Lynx – To cover up the vampire smell on his clothes

A haircut at home set – Jacob will never have hair trouble again!

A suit – Well, he _did_ say he needed one

A magnifying glass – To see all the little people stood below him...

Two tickets to Scotland – So he and Nessie can see the real Loch Ness Monster!

A science book – Sorry to tell you this Jake, but it is actually gravity that ties you to the planet, and _not_ Renesmee

An 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' top – Just don't phase in it!

A model car – To keep him occupied while he waits for that master cylinder


	7. Carlisle

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Carlisle

**On the fifteenth day of December Twilight gave to me, Carlisle paying a hospital parking fee**

Operation – Carlisle will kick ass at this game!

A Tai Chi book – If Carlisle gets any calmer he'll be practically floating

A pillow – To practice his mad floating skills

Family Guy boxset – Carlisle _is_ the Family Guy

A car wash set – For that gorgeous Mercedes

A toy stethoscope – Jokes!

Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy boxsets – These must be Carlisle's favourite shows

A gavel – To call order to those family meetings

World's Best Father mug – Because he deserves it

A portable oxygen tank – So his patients can breathe when they see who their doctor is


	8. Emmett

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Emmett

**AN – I'm sorry for missing so many days! I know this sounds stupid but I thought I had been doing them. Really sorry! I will try to make it up to you somehow...**

**On the eighteenth day of December Twilight gave to me, Emmett losing several arm wrestling matches...**

A fairground strongman machine – To test his strength

A teddy bear – He just wants something to cuddle really

The old robot battle toys– So he can beat the crap out of someone again, and again, and again

An irritable grizzly – This might be hard to wrap...

An accident book – So he can record Bella's many falls 'fall down again, Bella?'

Boxing gloves – Get in the ring Emmett!

Gym membership – Just to keep up the act

A light green Borat swimsuit – This would be hilarious, admit it!

A season ticket to sport of choice – Emmett can go to all the games

A tool kit – To repair the houses he and Rosalie demolished


	9. Twilight Sees The Twilight Movie

**AN – For forgetting to do several days, (well two) I have decided to make it up to my faithful reviewers and subscribers and write a story to commemorate this day. As...the Twilight Movie is finally out in Britain! And it is awesome, I'm seeing it again tomorrow!**

Twilight Sees The Twilight Movie –

"This should be fun!" Nessie said as they all entered the cinema. They were all there, Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Renesmee and Jacob, there to see the Twilight Movie. They took the back row and it filled up until Jacob was left standing.

"Where am I going to sit!" He said, as they all looked at him.

"Sit there!" Nessie pointed to a seat directly in front of her. He grumbled but sat down in the end seat of the next row. More people started to come in, and someone sat directly next to Jacob. He let them by, and Jacob thought he caught a glimmer of interest in the girls eye. He ignored it, but he felt slightly on edge when the lights dimmed, mostly because she kept looking at him from the side of her eye.

"Jake's got an admirer" Bella whispered to Edward as the trailers rolled. He laughed and made a heart shape with his finger, then held it up so both Jacob and the stranger were together in the heart. Bella laughed again and looked at Nessie's slightly aggravated expression. Alice, further down the line, was jumping in her seat.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Jasper said, watching Alice go up and down.

"Jacob's blocking my view!" She hissed, trying to turn her head around him.

"That's not my fault!" He said, turning around.

"It's your mythological genes!" Alice hissed, annoyed.

"It's yours too!" Jake argued.

"Someone switch places with Alice before we get chucked out" Jasper whispered down the line. Carlisle dutifully got up and switched places, Alice looking satisfied with her new spot.

"She could have just got a booster seat" Jake murmured. Jasper growled angrily.

"Hush, the movie's starting" Carlisle said, and they all watched the Twilight name come up on screen.

"That's you!" Nessie said loudly down to Bella.

"Nessie, be quiet!" Bella whispered back, apologising softly to the people who stared.

"Ugh, go to a hairdresser!" Jacob said under his breath.

"Uh, Jacob, that's you" Jasper said to him.

"This is ridiculous! I don't look like that!" Jacob argued, gesturing to the screen.

"Taylor Lautner is fit!" Nessie cried, going red soon after. Jacob stared incredulously.

"I know" Rosalie whispered back.

"Don't encourage her!" He said.

"I'll do whatever I want" Rosalie said, sitting back in her seat. Carlisle moved his finger, telling Jacob to sit back in his seat.

"Oh my Edward, you're going into the cafeteria!" Bella squealed.

"Bella did you actually just say 'oh my Edward'?" Edward laughed.

"All the fan girls are saying it." Was Bella's excuse.

"TEAM EMMETT!" Emmett shouted, Rosalie smacking him in response. A few people turned, but no one complained.

"Oh Edward, it's you!" Esme said lovingly.

"Oh don't mess with Edward, he's hardcore" Emmett taunted. "He's harder than concrete, he's as tough as frozen McDonald's hamburger" he continued. Rosalie was shaking with suppressed laughter, Jasper and Alice too looked like they were about to laugh. Bella already was. Edward gave Emmett a glare. He grinned widely.

"Oh my Jasper, Jessica, Angela, Eric, Mike and Tyler are nothing like what they are in real life!" Alice said. Jasper raised his eyebrow at the 'oh my Jasper' but apart from that said nothing.

"That Rosalie is nothing compared to me!" Rosalie complained. Jacob turned around and smirked, to prove his earlier point. "Shut up" Rosalie said.

"I didn't say anything" he said innocently.

"You were thinking it" Edward said, his attention still on the film.

"You just can't catch a break, can you?" He said to them all.

"Life sucks and then you die, Jacob" Bella said to him.#

"Yeah, I should be so lucky" he muttered before watching the film again. Soon it was the scene where Edward saves Bella, and of course, they weren't happy with it.

"No!" Bella and Edward both said, after it happened.

"Where was the passion? Where was the drama?" Bella moaned, Edward shook his head disapprovingly. Then suddenly, Esme got up and shouted unexpectedly.

"Yes Carlisle, hit that!" He had just made his grand entrance, and not just the Cullens were looking at her wide eyed. She sat down with no shame.

"Esme!" Carlisle said, shocked.

"Sorry dear, but it had to be done" she shrugged and continued watching the film, the Cullens all shared a meaningful glance. The film carried on, with each of them making comments every now and then. The Cullens had a lot to say about Bella's introduction to the family.

"Oh look at my hair. Isn't it lovely? Though it's not the right colour..." Esme said.

"Tell me about it. At least your hair colour is under the right sort of category. My hair is black, not brown!" Alice said, scoffing.

"Ah Rosalie, you crack me up. Of course she like's Italian, she's called Bella!" Emmett said, laughing. Rosalie defended herself.

"Yeah, but how was I supposed to know that!"

"Why do I look in pain?" Jasper enquired.

"Yeah Jasper, what's up your-"

"This is far to awkward. It wasn't like this at all" Edward said to Bella. She nodded.

"I feel sorry for Kristen. Even if she was acting, that would be weird" but Bella didn't feel so sorry for her when the kiss scene came on.

"No fair!" She huffed, slumping back into her seat. Though she was cheered up when she looked at Jacob. He was practically hanging off of his seat, as the girl next to him was coming closer, and closer, until finally his weight gave out and he was on the floor. The Cullens erupted into laughter, and just about the rest of the theatre.

"There's gum on me!" Jake cried, trying to get the gum out of his hair, whilst getting it more tangled.

"Maybe Taylor Lautner's not the one who needs a haircut" Rosalie laughed, and their laughs got louder.

"Shut up!" He cried as he ran out of the cinema to the loos.

"He hasn't got his ticket!" Nessie said, and ran out after him, holding the two tickets.

"Damn, if she hadn't of said that we could have got rid of him" Rosalie looked annoyed. They laughed at her annoyance then started watching the film again. They all 'ooh'ed when the nomads came on the screen, Edward especially. But first, the baseball scene. They were awed as they watched what they didn't doubt was the best scene in the movie.

"I am so using that pitching throw" Alice said to Jasper.

"Yay, I look normal in this scene" Jasper enthused.

"I gave you mega death glare's Bella!" Rosalie laughed. Bell laughed with her, though she still remembered when that look would be a common occurrence. The nomads came onto the scene, and they booed.

"Ah I wish Victoria had actually said 'I'm the one with the wicked curveball'. That would have been so cool!" Alice said. They all looked at her a bit strangely, and carried on commenting.

"Hey have you seen the Evil Iguana spoof of this? 'No, he wants my candybar!' Edward that would have been so funny" Bella whispered to Edward. He laughed uneasily.

"Carlisle face it, they do cheat" Esme was arguing with Carlisle, across the aisle. Rosalie and Emmett shushed them.

"It didn't even happen like that!" Jasper said watching their scene in Phoenix. Alice patted his arm kindly. Soon the movie was coming to a close, they all awed at the prom scene, and it was getting to the end.

"I won" Bella said to Edward.

"Yes, you did" Edward laughed lovingly.

"Yeah, no matter how hard I tried" Jacob said.

"But think about it, you got me!" Nessie consoled him.

"True" Jake laughed.

"Hey, Nessie, don't you think it's a bit weird that your boyfriend used to fancy your mother?" Rosalie asked.

"Rose!" Bella said.

"Talk about MILF" Emmett laughed. Bella hit him; hard. He wrinkled his nose, her newborn strength still hadn't faded.

"What does that mean?" Renesmee asked.

"No! You don't want to know, Nessie!" Jake blushed. Emmett laughed loudly. The film credits started to roll, and they all cheered. The girl next to Jacob got up, and she said seductively;

"Call me" a piece of gum wrapper with writing was forced into Jacob's hand and they all laughed at his dumb struck face. As they exited the cinema, they talked about the movie.

"I thought that was great!" Carlisle said to Esme.

"I wish I looked a bit better" Jasper mumbled to Alice.

"Yeah, I needed to be daintier. And did you see those shoes I wore? They look like Amy Winehouse's cast offs" she scoffed.

"Hey, you know like one of my only lines in the advert, 'she's not one of us, Edward'? They cut that out!" Emmett realised.

"God, that was the worse film I've ever seen" Jacob said to Nessie.

"Want to see it again?" She replied. Everyone apart from Jacob agreed, but as they paid for another round of tickets, he bought one too.

"I'm not sitting on the end again though!" He argued.

"We'll see" Rosalie replied, and they all went back into the cinema laughing, Jacob looking very annoyed.

**AN – Well I hope you enjoyed that guys! I will be doing a list, but thought I'd post this apology first. Hope you enjoyed it, if so, review. If not, I'd still like to hear what you thought!**


	10. Alice

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Alice

**AN – Sorry! Microsoft Word wouldn't let me use it, something about a product key? Don't ask. But anyway, it's fixed now, and will update for the last two days. **

**On the twentieth day of December Twilight gave to me, Alice on a shopping spree**

Her own collection of Barbie dolls – So she can dress them up to her heart's content!

Phone books –For those hard to reach places

Bumper sticks – To put on that cool Porsche

The Financial Times – So she can keep track of her stocks

A hairdressing course –Now she can attack Bella (and anyone else who she happens to see) with a hairbrush and scissors

A trampoline – Imagine what little Alice could do on a trampoline, she would get Olympic stars running for their money!

A party hat – To re use for the several parties she seems to throw

A secret locator – So the Cullens can track her next time she runs off and doesn't tell anyone where she is

A item of clothing with the words 'I Love Emos' – Jasper's her one and only

Sunglasses and paparazzi – She's a vampire fashionista, everybody say 'blood'!


	11. Rosalie

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Rosalie

**AN – Again, sorry I'm late, product key, etc., etc. Review and enjoy!**

**On the twenty first day of December Twilight gave to me, self esteem hits by Rosalie**

A magic mirror – Mirror, mirror, on the wall

All the seasons of Top Gear – She has an eternity to watch them

A wedding planner – To plan her many weddings

A slot in 'Scary Stories For Young Children' – Don't read about her past in the dark kids!

Common sense – So she remembers to check the next time she tells someone their loved one has committed suicide

A job in Mothercare – Look at the little baby...

A couples spa weekend – Emmett may not fit on that massaging table

A role in FHS production of High School Musical – 'I want fabulous, that is my simple request!'

A Lifetime Achievement Award – She's only killed 5 humans, oh wait, the guards...

A tape record – So she can listen and improve her evil laugh

**AN - Wow, I really enjoyed this one for some reason, I hope you will too!**


	12. Esme

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Esme

**AN – I just thought I'd take some time to thank the people who without fail read my lists and always review, even if it's just one word. You guys are the best, and I give virtual cookies to omgxiixluvxhc, Geeky13 and allikittenkat1!**

**On the twenty second say of December Twilight gave to me, Esme decorating the Crimbo tree**

Maternity Nurse Course – She can put her mothering instincts to better use

How To Cook guide – She could make millions as the new mother of cooking

A family portrait – She'll beam with pride whenever she sees it

A whistle – She is the referee after all

Nametags – So people will actually know who she is...

World's Best Mother cup – She won't actually use it but it's the thought that counts

A nurse outfit – Nothing to do with Carlisle, just for the new job, I swear...

A model house – So she can decorate it any way she likes

Blue prints – For inspiration

Abseiling lessons – Safety first, suicide attempts second! (I do realise this one makes absolutely no sense, but bare with me)


	13. Leah

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Leah

**AN – Oooh, it's getting closer to Christmas every day! Who's excited? *Hand shoots up***

**On the twenty third day of December Twilight gave to me, Leah snarling angrily**

A tube map – So she can see the end of the line (**ooh harsh words**)

A treadmill – So she can run forever, and ever, and ever

A picket fence – Does she like Jacob, does she not? Get on a side!

This is your life book – Audience be warned, it gets crappier by the minute

Bitch of the year award – She this joke is double sided, because not only is she vicious to people, but she's a female werewolf! Clever...

A tragic but true competition – Who's past is worse, Rosalie's or Leah's? The competition will solve this once and for all

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor – Leah will survive, she will survive! Everybody sing along!

A best sister award – This can be from Seth, even if she does get on his nerves sometimes

A shelf – To hold all the awards she's getting this holiday

A medal – Has anyone ever asked Leah if she would like a medal? I bet she would


	14. Everyone!

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Everyone!

**AN – WOW. I am SHOCKED. I post the latest chapter at 10:30PM then have people reviewing past midnight! I want to say HUGE thanks to Miles33, who took it upon themselves to review every chapter, for which I am very grateful. Also to my other midnight reviewers, darv419, bitebella, Golden Eyed Lamb, HappilyEverAfter 7, emma-luvs-emmett and crazimani. This is for you!**

**On the twenty fourth day of December Twilight gave to me, the Cullens in the sunlight, looking shinny**

**AN - I will give the name first then the gift, as these are random**

Carlisle – Hot n' Cold by Katy Perry – Someone, call the doctor, got a case of the love bi-polar!

Jacob and Nessie – A chocolate fountain – Jake can melt the chocolate, and Nessie can eat it!

Jasper – A blog – To share his inner feelings with the world! We'll listen

Leah – An entry in the lonely hearts column – Attractive female seeks male who will love unconditionally, doesn't scare easily and is willing to go to midnight bonfires

Carlisle – The boxset of House – Thanks to Golden Eyed Lamb for this one, it's your name on the gift tag!

Emmett – A santa constume – Forget a fat Santa, we want a muscley Santa this year

Rosalie – Roses – Don't you think this is sweet – wait, your _murdered_ husband sent you roses? NO! DON'T GO GET THE WEDDING DRESS! (**sorry Rosalie!)**

Victoria – Tissues – This girl needs Kleenex man size tissues for her issues

Laurent - I Don't Speak French by Girls Aloud – He doesn't speak French, so why does he have an accent in the movie?

James – A candy bar – No, Edward didn't bring a snack, but you can have one now! (**Evil** **Iguanas Productions Twilight spoof anyone?**)

**AN – Well it is 12:25AM so technically it is the twenty fourth, and after all those reviews I couldn't go to sleep and wait for tomorrow, it would be too long! Thanks everyone, virtual Edward's and Jacob's coming your way!**


	15. Everyone! 2

Ten Holiday Gifts For...Everyone!

**On the twenty fifth day of December Twilight gave to me, Christmas with the Cullen family**

**AN – So this will be my last entry on this story, but I'm happy to report that I will be doing more seasons, such as Easter and Halloween and of course the holiday season next year, so this story is not over! Thanks for all the support, everyone who has subscribed and reviewed deserves a very merry holiday! I've written a new story called The Twilight Awards, so check it out if you want. Thanks, and happy holidays!**

Victoria – A chill pill – Relax! This girl doesn't stop!

The pack – Dancing With Wolves – I bet they will _love_ this

Esme – A cat – I think Esme is a cat person, don't you?

Edward – An electric keyboard – Edward can be a future sailor and electro boy! (Mighty Boosh reference)

Readers – Mighty Boosh boxset – For people who didn't get that last one

Jacob – An astronomy book – To learn about those Eclipses

The Volturi – Party hats – I bet those guys really know how to throw a party

Bella – Holes by Louis Sachar – Bella knows all about holes, internal or otherwise (**plus it's a pretty good book**)

Seth – Honey – It matches his coat and is sweet like him

Readers – Any Twilight character of your pick – After the last time I gave out charcters, people had things to say about it, so now I give you the gift of choice! You lucky readers!

**AN – Once again, thanks for reading! And while I'm on the subject of book recommendations, can I just recommend The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins? I won't say a lot, but in the words of Stephenie Meyer 'The Hunger Games is amazing'.**


	16. New Year's Resolutions

Ten New Year's Resolutions For...Everybody

**AN – Hey Novel Novice Twilight (NNT, it's a Twilight fansite) are having a little project on Twilight related resolutions, and I thought I would post the ones I thought of here!**

Jacob: To keep my dignity I Will STOP eating out of dog bowls

Jasper: I will keep a diary and chronicle my many feelings so Alice can understand me

Carlisle: Be so peaceful and serene that I will eventually gain the ability to fly!

Alice: Shop more to keep my favourite stores out of recession

Bella: DON'T go to Italy, just don't do it

Renesmee: Grow more, I want to act my age not like a five year old!

Victoria: Relax, revenge killing sprees really tire you out

Emmett: Win an arm wrestling match against Bella

Rosalie: Perfect my glare so that at Jacob and Nessie's wedding he really will have something to fear, and it won't be commitment

Edward: Go on a tour of quiz shows and get every question right, just to freak them out *evil grin*

**AN – To be honest guys, I'm seriously toying with the idea of sticking it out for a while, even if it isn't the holidays, as I really want to continue these lists! What do you think, yes, no? Let me know!**


	17. Authors Note

**Authors Note –**

**Hey guys, sorry to disappoint but I need your opinions before I post **_**anything**_** new. Since the holiday season is no more, I am not sure what to do now. I am going to put a poll up on my page, so if you can vote in that it was be much appreciated, it takes like less than a minute, and you must have that amount of time to spare for little old me, right? I hope so *smiles*. Also PLEASE tell me if for some reason the poll isn't displaying, the last time I put up a poll it wasn't very successful (why would you need to set it to yes to actually show your poll, isn't that the whole **_**point**_** of creating a poll! I know, you're saying I should of read the guide, but like always you think you are superior over technology just like you do with manuals and dive right in there and think you've done everything right until you get to the end and it turns out you've completely screwed it up and you want to throw your laptop across the room but don't because your parents would kill you, and you would regret it later). So yeah, please and thank you.**

**PS: sorry if my long note bored you, I tend to forget that people actually have to read this, but c'est la vie, as it were.**

**PSS. The Twilight Saga rocks my socks! I can't remember my life without it, and just thought I would spread the Twilight love! *smiles***


	18. Aro's Volturi Sleepover

Aro's Volturi Sleepover

**AN – Hey, out of as whole eternity the Volturi must have one sleepover, right? Even if they don't sleep, who does at a sleepover? So this is a little original idea I had, to quick start the new Gifts n' Lists story!**

The anti depressants – Marcus just isn't the life and soul of the party any more, time to change that *evil grin*

Lots of rocks – The vampire equivalent of a pillow fight, a rock fight!

An array of humans – Getting them all sat waiting on a table might be a bit tricky...

A huge swimming pool of sharks, gymnastics equipment, and hitting sticks (you know what I'm talking about) – It will be a gladiator tournament like no other!

A torch – Vampires do the _best_ scary stories

A pack of cards – Strip poker will be very interesting *cue Jane and Alec grimacing at each other*

Ministry of Sounds Anthems album – You just know that Aro is a clubbing sort of guy

A dance floor – The Volturi can really bust a move

A camera – These photos will be going around for centuries

An alphabet set – Because what comes before Part B? Partay! (Virtual cookies if you know where it's from)


	19. Ten Things Emmett Should NOT Do

Ten Things Emmett Should NOT Do

**AN – Wow, it's been a long time guys! Sorry I haven't updated, I'll try and make them more regular. I know there are quite a few of these floating about so I'll make it original. On with the list!**

Ask Bella what it is like being married to someone who has killed people

Tell Jasper that Alice is having a secret affair with Alice, it does explain the mysterious waves of lust between them...

Under NO circumstance find a funny picture in a magazine and say it's her (that time with the dog picture... *shivers*)

Ask Carlisle which he would prefer, a sweet human or an animal with rabies

Start an accidental fire in Alice's wardrobe, even if you were just trying to re-enact camping, despite the fact 'there is a forest right next to the house'

Start singing 'I'm too sexy' in gym then start removing your shirt in front of everyone

Tell Renesmee that Jacob is the Shrek to her Princess Fiona, then laugh and say that you aren't sure layers apply to werewolves

In a crowded hallway conspicuously move around and create a mini mosh pit, no matter how fun it is, 'humans are easily hurt'

Whenever anyone says anything to you reply with 'is it coz I'm Emmett, nuff said?' in a gangsta voice

Go to Carlisle's hospital dressed as the Grim Reaper and 'pay people a visit'


	20. Jasper's To Do List

Jaspers To Do List

**AN – Thanks for the favs and reviews! But those people who fav but don't review...reviews make me happy! So please? *looks up under my lashes and dazzles you until you agree***

Cry in the middle of the day blaming it on other people's 'feelings'

Chronicle your feelings in that diary you got for Christmas

Gatecrash that army party and speak for the Confederates, remembering the flag and the uniform _this time_

Follow people in the street and make them feel scared and frightened, just to see their reactions

Dress in emo clothes and go to a rave, they're the only people who _get_ me

In the middle of a crowded walkway keep stopping and starting, just so everyone behind you crashes into you and get annoyed

Practice your various facial expressions in the mirror, today 'pondering', 'I'm going to kill you' and everyone's favourite 'psycho'

Dare Emmett to trash Edward's room, that should be a good laugh

Put on a stick on beard, go down to the mall, and give people free therapy sessions. Saying 'how do you feel about that' is your calling

For an experiment start randomly singing 'YMCA' in the cafeteria and see how many people join in


	21. Rosalie’s Reasons She’s Better Than Ever

Rosalie's Reasons She's Better Than Everyone Else

**AN – So close to a 100 reviews! That would be a first for me. Anyhoo, sorry I haven't updated, been skiing! But I'm back now, so enjoy!**

She could challenge Jane to a staring contest, and have a possibility of _winning_

She's the only person alive who could make wedding dresses seem scary

Rosalie doesn't have an actual power, but who else can make every girl in the room take a self esteem hit?

A _blonde_ who _fixes_ cars? She's one of a kind!

Rosalie can have deep and meaningful conversations. About your humanity.

She can literally stop traffic, with her looks and her mechanical powers!

She cares about her family, even if the consequences of her 'care' are Edward nearly committing suicide and Bella feeling threatened constantly

She's only killed 5 people, it's something to brag about

Rose keeps Emmett in check, not many other people could do that job

Feisty and gorgeous, Rosalie's the girl you love to hate


	22. Alice's Shopping List

Alice's Shopping List

**AN – Nearly 100 reviews. Come on guys, you can do it! For me? *Pouts like Alice***

Food for Jacob and Renesmee. I didn't think humans ate _that_ much

Clothes. Lots and lots of clothes... *sighs*

Party decorations for Bella and Edward's surprise one month anniversary party. Then a notepad to plan the surprise second month anniversary party

Plants to line the cottage. Nature isn't moving fast enough for my liking

Pads and tampons for Nessie. Gotta be prepared for anything!

A massage chair. So I can sit and relaxation whilst I look into the future

Soldier civil war re-enactment set for Jasper, he has _got_ to get over the past

The dog toys that Rosalie bribed me to get for Jacob

A sign that reads 'no arm wrestling in the house!' to put on Esme's antique table

Red scarves and clothes, and a piñata of Caius. The Cullens are celebrating St. Marcus day in style!


	23. Ten Easter Gifts For Emmett

Ten Easter Gifts For...Emmett

**AN – It's Easter so you know what that means...it's back! Sorry I haven't updated in eons, I've been busy. But I will do these for you, as I promised earlier when I finished the Xmas lists, and I don't want to disappoint. So enjoy!**

A chick – Can you imagine the sort of fun Emmett would have with a chick? But just remember, chicks are friends, not food! **(Anyone know where this is from?)**

A large supply of Cadbury's Creme eggs – It would be like a snowball or paintball fight, but gooier

A Easter Egg treasure map – Indiana Emmett returns! **(Belladventure reference)**

A tub of melted chocolate – Because this is the perfect chance to beat Jasper at chocolate wrestling

A loin cloth – He's going to recreate the Jesus on the cross scene in the mall...oh dear

A box of Easter Peeps **(American sweets) **– It's time to play human food chicken, the first to lose cleans his and Rose's bedroom

A video camera – To make sure he's caught on tape gate crashing the Easter festivals

Internet connection – To quickly put the tape onto Youtube

A rabbit costume – Just for fun

A collection of films – So all the Cullens can have an epic Easter movie marathon. Who says Emmett isn't considerate?

**AN – Thank you so much reviewers and everyone who has put this on their favourites and alerts, I never imagined it would be so popular. I mean, 101 reviews! That's incredible! Thanks so much!**


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